Single people often get short shrift in a world obsessed with marriage and coupling, and at Unmarried Equality and elsewhere, I have often pointed out examples of singlism (the stereotyping, stigmatizing, and marginalizing of single people, and the discrimination against them). But just as important as all the ways in which single people are disadvantaged and treated unfairly are all the ways in which they are treated well.
Today, in this season of gratitude, I want to acknowledge a few of the businesses and thought leaders who do right by single people. I have been collecting examples myself, and online, I also asked members of Fairness for Single People, the Community of Single People, and Unmarried Equality for their own favorite examples. Most nominated specific people or places; others described what they wished they could find. I am grateful to all of the nominated people and businesses as well as the single people who took the time to make recommendations.
Consider these as just a few examples of the kinds of things businesses and thought leaders can do to connect with, validate, or serve the millions of single people all around the world.
Thought Leaders
Advice columnists who are great when discussing single people
Carolyn Hax is consistently excellent. She understands that single people can flourish. No singles-shaming ever. She gets it about the ways single people get marginalized by other people or pressured to coupled and she is not having it. Here’s an example, about a single woman who has a great life, but whose parents keep pressuring her to marry.
Food and wellness columnists who are attuned to single people
Here’s an example from Tara Parker-Pope, who addressed the question, “What tips do you have for cooking for one?”
Travel
Cruises and other travel opportunities that do NOT charge a single supplement
Single people do not like paying the additional charge of a single supplement, and we are tremendously grateful (and loyal!) when we find travel companies that do not charge single people extra, or focus on creating great experiences for solo travelers.
They offer Solo Friendly Travel, including some spaces in trips that do not charge a single supplement
Businesses that Acknowledge and Cater to Friends (Not Just Couples or Families)
Single people want the people in our lives, such as our friends, to be taken just as seriously as spouses and romantic partners or conventional families. Here are a few examples of how that can be done.
Southwest Airlines offers a “Companion Pass”: “Friends fly when you do. Companion Pass allows you to choose one person to fly with you, free of airline charges every time you purchase or redeem points for a flight.”
The V & A Museum in London offers a “member + guest” membership in which the member can bring a different guest each time.
The UK offers railcards that single people appreciate. The “Family and Friends” railcard offers a discount for up to 4 adults, who do not need to be related. The “Two Together” railcard offers a discount “on your Off-Peak rail travel for you and the person you travel with most – not just if you are a couple, it could be with a family member or your best friend.”
Restaurants, Grocery Stores, and Meal Kits
Meal kit delivery services
Many meal kit services only offer meals in quantities of 2 or more. Yes, we single people know we can save the other meal for another time, but some of us don’t want to do that.
The Fresh 20 offers meal plans for one.
Factor75 offers individual meals.
Restaurants and grocery stores that offer single-serving, take-out, complete holiday meals
Contrary to all stereotypes, some single people love being on their own for the holidays! (And some coupled people dearly wish they could be.) Many of us want to enjoy our dinner at home. Here are a few examples of restaurants and supermarkets that offer grab and go meals for one.
Fowlerville Farms Restaurant, in Michigan
They offered Thanksgiving dinners for one.
The Fresh Vine, in Edison, Alberta, Canada
They offered complete Thanksgiving meals for single people.
Hermolis, in the UK
They offered ready-made full Thanksgiving meals for one, including kosher options.
Supermarkets and other places that sell food in small quantities
Giant “family size” packaging is not a bargain for single people, especially those of us who live alone or in small places. Perishable foods go bad before we can use them, and we may not have room to store nonperishables. Here are some examples of better ways to serve single customers.
H – E – B Grocery stores, in Texas
Type “single-serving” into their search bar and luxuriate in the many pages of offerings, including fresh veggies and soups.
Waitrose, in the UK
A London shopper tells us that “Waitrose supermarkets allow you to purchase a single vegetable (e.g., salad/spring onion) rather than a whole bunch as a minimum.”
Farmers markets
Farmers markets are great places for buying only what you need, even if it is just one jalapeno pepper. (Sometimes the sellers say – “oh, just take it.”)
In the U.S., a local co-op (unnamed) is selling prepared turkey breast by the pound for Thanksgiving; single people don’t need to buy a big bird. A local church (unnamed) is packaging baked goods in small quantities, such as a single cinnamon roll or two cookies.
Restaurants that are wonderful to solo diners
For decades, I have been hearing stories of restaurants that give their solo diners second class treatment. (And I’ve had a few such experiences myself.) But some restaurants treat their solo guests wonderfully. Here are some examples.
Thida Thai, in West Vancouver, BC
From a single diner: “Thida Thai on Davie Street in West Vancouver, BC, treated me wonderfully. I came in alone and instead of seating near the kitchen, the host asked if I’d like to sit at the window so I could keep an eye on my bike. Normally the window tables are sacred couple ground.”
The Pheasant Restaurant, in Brookings, South Dakota
Here’s what they say about their Norwegian kos cuisine: “heart-warming food that satisfies the appetite, cozies the soul, and encourages fork-in-hand lingering around the table, either with people you appreciate or in content solitude with some good reading.” We single people are grateful for their acknowledgement of the contentment of having brunch in solitude or the joys of brunching with people we appreciate. The latter category, “people you appreciate,” is so much broader and more inclusive than the language of romantic coupling.
Sushi bars
Hat tip to all the sushi bars where, as one single person put it, “it’s always cool to sit alone at the bar and enjoy the artistry.”
Our Wish List
Here are some of the things single people wish for, but haven’t found:
- Real estate specialists helping singles secure affordable housing individually or collectively.
- Car rental discounts for single people. (All sorts of other demographics are offered special deals, such as recent grads.)
- Healthcare advocates whose focus is coordinating the logistics for short-term recovery and long-term care of single folks.
- Allow us to hire people to pick us up after surgery, instead of requiring that we leave with someone we know.
- Let us share our streaming services with people outside our household at the same rate as people who watch on more than one screen within the same household.
- Businesses should offer discounts during Unmarried and Single Americans Week, as many businesses do for Singles Day.
Happy, Happy
Happy Thanksgiving to all who celebrate, happy winter holiday season for everyone celebrating that, and happy every day to everyone – especially all the proud single people and the businesses and thought leaders doing right by them.
[Notes: (1) The opinions expressed here do not represent the official positions of Unmarried Equality. (2) I’ll post all these blog posts at the UE Facebook page; please join our discussions there. (3) For links to previous columns, click here.]
About Bella DePaulo
