What do you think of single women raising children on their own – is it a good thing for society, a bad thing, or do you think it doesn’t make much difference? In 2018 and again in 2021, a representative national sample of close to 10,000 adults in the U.S. answered that question. Results showed that the disparagement of single mothers is on the rise, according to a report from the Pew Research Center. In 2018, 40 percent said that single women raising kids on their own was a bad thing; by 20121, that number rose to 47 percent.
Single motherhood is bad for society:
- 40 percent, 2018
- 47 percent, 2021
Most of the others said that single women raising kids on their own did not make much of a difference. In 2021, 43 percent said that. Only 10 percent said it was a good thing.
Some subgroups of Americans were even more likely than others to disapprove of single mothers. The researchers asked participants to report their gender, age, race or ethnicity, and political party. All of those characteristics mattered.
Who Is Especially Likely to Denounce Single Mothers?
Men
Men were especially likely to say that single mothers were bad for society:
- 59 percent of men
- 37 percent of women
For men, that represented an increase of 9 points since 2018, and for women, an increase of 7 points.
Republicans
Republicans were especially likely to say that single mothers were bad for society:
- 62 percent of Republicans or people leaning Republican
- 36 percent of Democrats of people leaning Democratic
For Republicans, that was an increase of 9 points since 2018, and for Democrats, an increase of 6 points.
Older People
Just over half of people 50 and older said that single women raising children on their own was bad for society. A little over 40 percent of those under 50 said the same thing.
- 51 percent, 65 and older
- 52 percent, 50-64
- 44 percent, 30-49
- 42 percent, 18-29
Hispanics Were Least Judgmental
Whites, Asians, and Blacks were especially likely to say that single mothers were bad for society:
- 49 percent, Whites
- 49 percent, Asians
- 46 percent, Blacks
- 39 percent, Hispanics
Condemnation of Cohabitation Is Also on the Rise, But Some of the People Doing the Condemning Were Different
Americans are not nearly as judgmental about cohabitation as they are about single motherhood. Still, the disapproval of cohabitation has also risen over the past few years.
More Americans said that couples living together without being married was bad for society in 2021 than in 2018:
- 24 percent, 2021
- 19 percent, 2018
The people criticizing cohabitation, though, were not always the same as those criticizing single motherhood.
- Although men were much more likely than women to say that single motherhood was bad for society, there was only a very small difference in judgments of cohabitation: 26 percent of men said it was bad, compared to 23 percent of women.
- As was true for single motherhood, younger Americans were less disparaging of cohabitation than were older Americans. The differences by age, though, were even greater for cohabitation. In the most judgmental group, those 65 and older, 35 percent said that cohabitation was bad for society; in the youngest and least judgmental group, 13 percent said it was bad for society. That’s a difference of 22 points, compared to only about half that for single motherhood.
- Republicans were again more judgmental than Democrats; the difference was about the same as it was for single motherhood. Among Republicans, 38 percent said that cohabitation was bad for society, compared to 13 percent of Democrats.
- Hispanics were again the least judgmental. Only 17 percent said that cohabitation was bad for society, compared to 24 percent of Asians, 25 percent of Whites, and 32 percent of Blacks.
Because Americans had become more critical of single motherhood and cohabitation over the past few years, I thought they might have become more critical of the growing diversity of American society, too. That wasn’t discussed in the report, but I found the relevant data by following this link. My guess was wrong. Exactly the same percentage of Americans thought that increasing racial and ethnic diversity was bad for society in 2018 and in 2021: 17 percent both times.
The Bigger Picture: What Was Happening about a Decade Ago, in 2010?
Americans have been disparaging single-mother families even more than other kinds of families at least since 2010. In that year, more Americans said that single motherhood was bad for society than cohabitation, unmarried couples raising children, gay couples raising children, or people of different races marrying.
Here are the percentages saying these trends were bad for society, in 2010:
- 69 percent, single women having children
- 43 percent, cohabitation
- 43 percent, unmarried couples raising children
- 43 percent, gay couples raising children
- 14 percent, people of different races marrying
The 47 percent of Americans who currently think that single motherhood is bad for society is a lot less than the 69 percent from 2010. Still, it is more than the 40 percent who said the same thing in 2018.
For many years, attitudes toward single parenting were headed in a more accepting direction. Then, recently, things changed. The question is, why?
Why Is This Happening? Four Experts Weigh In
I asked four experts why they thought these trends were happening. What I really wanted to know, though I did not ask any of them this directly, was how worried I should be about the growing disparagement of single mothers. Singlism – the stereotyping, stigmatizing, and marginalizing of single people, and the discrimination against them – is something I hope and expect to decrease, especially as the proportion of single people increases. But progress often incites backlash, and that possibility is what concerns me.
Backlash and the Patriarchy
Nicole Rodgers, Founder and Executive Director of Family Story, sees evidence of backlash, and explains why men are more judgmental about single motherhood than cohabitation:
“I think it suggests a growing pro-traditional-family-values backlash emerging in the face of increased calls for acceptance of family diversity. I think on the right we’re also hearing more and more societal ills, like mass shootings, being wrongly attributed to “fatherlessness.” This isn’t new of course, but it’s a discourse on the right that seems to be ramping up in recent years from what I can tell anecdotally. It’s particularly unsurprising that its worst among men more attached to a patriarchal order since single motherhood is more of a clear “threat” to their role as husbands and fathers.”
Economic Instability Is Structural and Global, But People Scapegoat Individuals and Their Behaviors
Two scholars pointed to the significance of growing economic insecurities, and how those insecurities can drive stereotyping and scapegoating, rather than an appreciation of the global and structural factors that matter most.
University of Pennsylvania sociologist Regina S. Baker, who studies the social structures that contribute to inequality, reminds us that the more recent survey took place during the pandemic:
“I think timing matters. The Oct 2021 poll was in the midst of tough economic times stemming from the pandemic. We saw increasing rates of unemployment and poverty during this time and rising inequality. Certain groups, such as Black and Latino families, were disproportionately impacted. Similarly, the pandemic placed a spotlight on mothers whose increased care demands due to daycare and school closures disproportionately disrupted their daily lives, increasing their risk of unemployment as well. As a result of these pandemic impacts, there was increased attention to longstanding beliefs concerning why people are poor—beliefs that center on individual behaviors (e.g., single motherhood) as driving poverty and inequality. For instance, I saw posts suggesting the pandemic reinforced the importance of married, two-parent families for economic outcomes—that if more families consisted of married parents (who had followed the “success sequence”) it would not be a big deal if one parent had to miss work and stay home to be with their child(ren). Such perspectives feed the notion that single motherhood is ‘bad’ for society.”
(Here’s why the “success sequence” is mostly propaganda.)
Dr. Amy Andrada, a research associate at the University of Edinburgh in Scotland and a scholar of stigma and single motherhood, explained what Americans get wrong about single parents, and how they think locally when they should really be thinking globally:
“When we are affected globally, we tend to immediately only look at locally interpreted ‘out-groups’—meaning single mothers and/or cohabiting partners. And even though over two-thirds of single parents are not impoverished, are overwhelmingly working, are more likely to be educated than in any other period in U.S. history, and do not contribute to the poverty rate in the U.S., I think we—as a society—need to seriously reconsider why we point-fingers at this group rather than focusing on the issues that will more likely solve our collective problem with economic-family insecurity, such as an increase in unionization, higher taxes on the wealthy, and investing/purchasing locally sourced resources.”
(Here’s more about what we get wrong about single mothers and their children.)
Messaging, Messaging, Messaging—and Money
In 2019, Family Story issued an important report, “The Case Against Marriage Fundamentalism: Embracing Family Justice for All,” discussed here. The report compellingly documents the systematic and frighteningly well-funded efforts to reward and celebrate just one kind of family – headed by a man and woman in their first marriage – and stigmatize and maybe even punish every other variety. Nicole Rodgers believes those efforts, already intense, may have been ramped up even more in recent years. The backlash against single mothers, then, may have to do with:
“the increased visibility and penetration of the argument by right leaning folks across some very high-profile outlets in recent years arguing that family structure matters, particularly to children, and that single motherhood is not equal but suboptimal. It’s an argument that a fair amount of more centrist columnists and public intellectuals has really taken up.”
There are scholars who critique claims about single-parent families. Some, such as Deadric T. Williams and Regina S. Baker, have shown that structural, systematic, institutional forces are more powerful explanations than bad values or poor decision-making for how children, families, and individuals are faring. Bethany L. Letiecq has explained and documented “family privilege.” But scholars making those kinds of arguments do not have the same support behind them. They don’t get the same media attention, and they don’t have anything close to all the think tanks, academic institutes, or other institutions that support marriage fundamentalists with huge amounts of money and persistent, relentless messaging. (See p. 21 of the “The Case Against Marriage Fundamentalism.”)
It’s Not That Big a Difference, and the Older People Are Driving It
The most optimistic perspective was offered by Philip Cohen, University of Maryland sociology professor and author of Enduring Bonds: Inequality, Marriage, Parenting, and Everything Else That Makes Families Great and Terrible:
“First, it’s not a very big change overall. Second, old people oppose single motherhood and cohabitation more, and the share of old people is increasing rapidly right now as baby boomers age.”
If the younger people continue to hold onto their more open and accepting attitudes as they grow older and replace the oldest, most judgmental Americans, and if the new cohorts of younger people coming up behind them are similarly non-judgmental, then single mothers will be less stigmatized in the future. Maybe the economy will improve, too, and we will see less of the insecurity-driven stigmatizing that Regina Baker and Amy Andrada posited.
What Would Help?
Dr. Andrada has some suggestions for these challenging economic times that don’t involve scapegoating single mothers. I think they are worth considering even in the best of times.
“Most Americans are just trying to figure out how to survive through (yet, again) another period of severe economic insecurity. If we want to figure this out for ourselves, our families, and each other, I highly recommend we stop using traditional scapegoats and start demanding more from our economy, state, and institutions to ensure all American families and individuals can weather this storm. This can be accomplished through basic income, national health care, living wages, and fair housing–regardless of household or family type.”
Of course, it would also help tremendously if more affirming perspectives on single parenting, grounded in careful research and theory, had the same kind of money, organized support, and media attention that the marriage fundamentalists and marriage opportunists have had for decades.
[Notes: (1) The opinions expressed here do not represent the official positions of Unmarried Equality. (2) I’ll post all these blog posts at the UE Facebook page; please join our discussions there. (3) For links to previous columns, click here.]
About Bella DePaulo
