Unmarried Equality members have probably noticed lots of ways in which single people are not treated fairly by businesses and other groups and organizations. Let’s do more than just rolling our eyes or venting among ourselves. Let’s call them out.
Toward that end, I just created a new Facebook group, “Fairness for Single People.” It is a place where anyone who has a relevant example can post about it and provide information for contacting the company or organization.
Let’s also use the page as a place for praising groups leading the way with singles-friendly practices. (See below for some examples of unfair and fair practices.)
As of April 2018, this is brand new, so it will probably evolve over time, but for starters, here is how I envision it working:
Every time you notice an instance of an unfair practice, or a singles-friendly practice, take some or all of the following steps —
- Go to the “Fairness for Single People” page and describe the unfair practice.
- Tell the business or organization about your opinion and let them know that you wrote about it on the “Fairness for Single People” page.
- Include a link to the business’s webpage and/or Facebook page and/or Twitter name. That way, other people can also contact the business or organization to make their opinion known.
- If you have a relevant picture, post that.
- On social media, use the hashtag #fairnessforsinglepoeple
I understand that businesses sometimes have their reasons for their practices that are not very friendly to single people or to people on their own, regardless of their relationship status (such as people dining alone or traveling solo). For example, cruises might charge a single supplement when one person stays in a cabin because they could have made more money if two people stayed in the cabin and then spent lots of money on other things. Still, for single people, it is an unfriendly business practice. It could make a difference if many single people flock to the businesses that are friendly towards them.
Below, I tried to distinguish between practices that are unfair vs. those that are unfriendly, but I don’t think the distinction is all that straightforward.
Examples of Practices that Are Unfair or Fair to Single People (or to individuals such as people traveling or dining solo, regardless of their relationship status)
Unfair
$20 per individual
$30 per couple
Fair
$15 per individual
$30 per couple
Not friendly to individuals
Airport shuttle: the more people in your party who are traveling, the less each person pays
Friendly to individuals
The more often you take the shuttle, the less you pay for each trip
Unfair
Because of space limitations, alumni attending a university event can only bring a spouse
Fair
Because of space limitations, alumni attending a university event can only bring one person
Not friendly to individuals
Buy one restaurant meal, get one free
Friendly to individuals
Buy one meal for half-price
Unfair
$100 per household
Fair
$50 per person
Not friendly to individuals
$10 off when you spend $100 on groceries (that can be a lot for a person living alone)
Friendly to individuals
$5 off when you spend $50 on groceries
Unfair
Married employees have access to benefits that single employees do not (e.g., adding a spouse to a health insurance plan, covering a spouse’s moving expenses)
Fair
Cafeteria style benefits: every employee gets the same dollar amount, and can use the dollars for whichever benefits they want
Unfair
$100 per couple for access to all events in a film festival
Fair
$100 for a 2-person subscription; the second person can be anyone and it can be a different person for different events
I’m hoping that the FAIRNESS FOR SINGLE PEOPLE group will mostly run smoothly with little administrative help, because (1) it is an open group (so no one needs to process requests for membership) and (2) the focus is on unfair and fair practices, so I hope that means there will be little infighting in the discussions. Nonetheless, if anyone would like to join me as an administrator of the site, just let me know – I’d love to have you.
[Notes: (1) The opinions expressed here do not represent the official positions of Unmarried Equality. (2) The comment option on the UE website has been invaded by spammers, so I have disabled comments for now. I’ll post all these blog posts at the UE Facebook page; please join our discussions there. (3) For links to previous columns, click here.]
About the Author: Bella DePaulo (PhD, Harvard), a long-time member of Unmarried Equality, is the author of Singled Out: How Singles Are Stereotyped, Stigmatized, and Ignored, and Still Live Happily Ever After and How We Live Now: Redefining Home and Family in the 21st Century, among other books. She writes the “Living Single” blog for Psychology Today and the “Single at Heart” blog for Psych Central. Visit her website at www.BellaDePaulo.com and take a look at her TEDx talk, “What no one ever told you about people who are single.”
About Bella DePaulo
