As a single person who cares very much about the place of single people in society, I look longingly at other groups that have mounted successful social movements. Where is our Singles Pride movement?
It turns out that there was such a thing in the US in the 1970s. A person who played a big role in spearheading it was Marie Edwards. She first taught a course on singles at the University of Southern California back in 1971. She became an advocate for fairness for single people, addressed many singles groups and led consciousness-raising workshops for singles.
Her “Singles Manifesto” was published in the Los Angeles Times in 1974. It was also included in her book, co-authored with Eleanor Hoover, The Challenge of Being Single, which was reviewed in prestigious publications such as the New York Times and the Los Angeles Times. The article in the LA Times was titled, “A Singles’ Lib Manifesto.” My personal copy is emblazoned with the words “Live Free!” in red on the cover.
The first chapter in The Challenge of Being Single was titled, “How Come You’re Not Married?” Marie Edwards had an answer to that: “I love my single life.” She also mocked the question by quipping that it is the equivalent of being challenged to “prove that you’re not a freak.”
Debunking Myths
Among the myths Edwards and Hoover debunked in the book were:
- Finding the one-and-only will solve all of your problems.
- All single women want to get married.
- All single men are afraid of responsibility.
- All unmarrieds are terribly lonely.
- Single life is hazardous because there will be no one around to help you if you are hurt or sick.
What, according to Edwards (and her co-author, Eleanor Hoover), is the end result of all of these stereotypes and myths? Discrimination. Long before many others did so, she spelled out the unfair costs to being single in taxes, the workplace, insurance, and housing. She does not see singles simply as victims, though, and ends with a chapter on the greatest advantage of being single – freedom! – and with her manifesto.
THE SINGLES MANIFESTO
Edwards’ book includes the complete Singles Manifesto, consisting of a Preamble, three Articles (attitudes toward self, others, and society), and 17 statements. Here, for your reading pleasure, are some excerpts from this 1974 proclamation.
PREAMBLE of Marie Edwards’ SINGLES MANIFESTO:
“Whereas the written and spoken word about singles has been and continues to be one of gloom and doom, untruths and misinformation, we the singles of the United States – divorced, separated, and never-married – in order to bury the myths, establish the truths, uplift our spirits, promote our freedom, become cognizant of our great fortune as singles, do ordain and establish this manifesto for the singles of the United States of America.”
SAMPLE STATEMENTS from Marie Edwards’ 1974 SINGLES MANIFESTO:
- I will, in my deepest feelings, know that it’s okay to be single and, becoming braver, know that it’s even more than okay – it can be a great and untapped opportunity for continuous personal growth.
- I will stop searching for the “one-and-only,” knowing that as I become more free to be myself, I will be freer to care about others, so that relationships will come to me as a natural consequence and I will feel free to accept or reject them.
- Instead of searching for the “one-and-only,” I will realize the tremendous importance of friendships.
- I will no longer suffer in silence the injustices to me as a single, but will do everything I can to eradicate them.
- I will, by choosing to live a free single life, be helping to raise the status of singlehood. In doing this, I will be strengthening rather than weakening marriage, for when we truly have the option not to marry, marriage will be seen as a free choice rather than one demanded by a pairing society.
When Marie Edwards died in 2009, her obituary was titled, “Marie Babare Edwards dies at 89; psychologist helped pioneer a ‘singles pride’ movement.” I guess the time was not quite right for that movement to stick. Will it ever be?
[Notes: (1) The opinions expressed here do not represent the official positions of Unmarried Equality. (2) I’ll post all these blog posts at the UE Facebook page; please join our discussions there. (3) For links to previous columns, click here.]
About Bella DePaulo
