Chosen family, abortion, divorce and life struggles in novel form
Book Review: Touching the Trees by Jennifer McBride
BY: KATHLEEN S. PETERS
In Jennifer McBride’s first novel, Touching the Trees, she recounts numerous moments in her life that led to reflection, fear, pain, love, transition, or peace. Written as a series of loosely connected memories and short stories, McBride takes the reader through the early years with her eventual husband, as well as the long and emotional divorce that ended her marriage. She also writes about her grandmothers and her admiration for them as strong, independent women who both left their marriages for different reasons. She talks about her children and how she hopes will not need to make the same mistakes she did to finally become happy and satisfied with their lives. Touching the Trees moves slowly and will undoubtedly strike each reader differently based on their individual experiences, but there are some gems of advice and hope that keeps pulling the reader back in.
This book is written for those who are in struggle, on the verge of a transition, or perhaps just experienced a major life change. In her introduction, McBride states that she hopes “this book will boost your strength to start or continue on your journey. Better yet, maybe it will inspire you to look and listen for lessons in your particular circumstances.” However if you are not in a position of drastic change or shifting self-reflection, this book may come across as slightly self-absorbed or leave you wondering why you should care about these stories. I had these thoughts often throughout the book, especially when the chapters did not relate to one another or it was a seemingly random story that did not have a broader message attached to it.
Yet then there are chapters such as “Abortion and the Egg Farmer’s Daughter,” which describes the abortion McBride and her now ex-husband had when they were younger and not ready for children. She puts a new spin on the term “pro-life” and tells how the abortion made her appreciate life more and pushed her to live it to the fullest to make meaning out of the abortion. “Walls and Bridges” is another great chapter that discusses the different ways people relate to one another and the opportunities for connection each type of relationship allows. McBride asks: are you putting up walls between you and others to forgo uncomfortable conversations, or are you building bridges to allow for vulnerability and trust? “Superfamily” is also a beautiful chapter, and perhaps the one that relates most to Alternatives to Marriage. This chapter goes over the different definitions of family and how sometimes your closest relationships are with those with neither blood nor legal relation. One chapter shortly after this describes how she and her current partner are committed to spending their lives together and becoming a family, yet not wanting marriage or any other labels attached to their relationship. McBride describes the peace that comes from making this decision, yet also the difficulties with having to explain it in a society that still lives in a world of boxes and classifications.
While these and other chapters carry strong and heartfelt messages about love, strength, resilience, and relationships, others lose the book’s momentum and make you wonder why you are reading it in the first place. Yet once again, this may not be the impression everyone gets depending on where they are in their lives. Regardless of your impression, McBride opens herself up to share deeply personal and emotional experiences with the reader, and she takes you through her transitions to the life she is in now.
