As a rabbi I have a complicated relationship to marriage. On the one hand, I believe in the transformative power of ritual and want to facilitate meaning-making and connection whenever we are able to have it. We live in an uncertain world where opportunities for celebration should not be passed by, and certainly people making bold commitments and affirmations of love are one of those opportunities.
On the other hand, as a spiritual leader, I can not stay silent when I see the harm marriage has long been in our culture. A coveted seat of privilege, marriage reinforces systems of privilege and oppression in our culture, dividing us in harmful ways, whether through ill-advised immigration laws, through cutting people off from their support networks in hospitals, by making invisible non-romantic love and connection, or by distracting the LGBTQ community to see marriage as the ultimate goal for gender and sexual liberation.
As a board member with AtMP, I am fortunate to be able to advocate for concrete changes in the way that our government links marriage and civil rights and to fight for the rituals, celebrations, and connections that we all so much deserve.