Neighbors, New Yorkers
The New York Times New Old Age blog offered another revealing story about unmarried caring relationships, and how important they are to our health. In brief, a not-young married couple provides food, company and transportation to their older neighbors. They are more important and reliable to their neighbors’ daily well-being than are their neighbors’ blood relatives.
Reading the comments on this story, I was fascinated by how many people said the neighbor deserves not only thanks and chocolate but also money to cover expenses (I agree). I was also glad one reader pointed out “… that the person who is so selfless may start demanding a decision-making role in determining how, when, where or what health care is given ….” The reader saw this as a negative “danger,” which of course it could be. But it also could be a positive, desirable situation to have a knowledgeable neighbor caregiver who takes part in health care decision making. The challenge is to permit the positive and prevent the negative.
Judging from the original post and the comments, people are comfortable with the idea that the neighbor caregiver has “already driven ailing neighbors to the emergency room several times.” People should not then be comfortable with the idea that hospital staff could stop the neighbor at the door and prevent her from visiting the elderly patient whom she delivered. This is the kind of situation that AtMP’s comment on the proposed federal visitation rule tries to address. There’s still time to submit your comment – please do!
So far a New York college radio station seems to be the only media outlet covering the visitation rule. WFUV plans to air a piece about it early Monday morning. We did a 10-minute interview with them today, but of course the coverage might last just a few seconds. Listen in if you can!
