Archive for May, 2010
Marital Status on the Supreme Court
There’s really nothing to say about Supreme Court nominee Elena Kagan’s marital status, or Justice Sotomayor’s, or Justice Souter’s, or anyone else’s. Marital status should not be a factor in any person’s employment application. Unfortunately, marital status discrimination in hiring is still allowed in much of the country, and, obviously, in the media.
I tried not to read any of the media flap about Kagan’s personal life. But, many AtMP members sent me links to Maureen Dowd’s column, so here it is in case you missed it. Personally, yuck! I’ve never been a Dowd fan. But I’m a big fan of Bella DePaulo, so I hope you’ll read her roundup of the media’s singlism and mothermania with regard to Kagan’s nomination.
Of much greater interest would be any serious legal analysis of whether Kagan thinks the Defense of Marriage Act is constitutional, or how she’d vote on a hypothetical challenge to an employer who provides domestic partner benefits but only to same-sex couples. Would she have decided, like Justice Alito, that spouses of persecuted refugees have greater rights than the refugees’ unmarried partners? Is she beholden to the marriage movement, like oft-mentioned potential nominee Judge Sears? Any legal scholars out there? Please?
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May 25th, 2010 by Nicky
Don’t over-romanticize romance
When former first lady Laura Bush said “I also know that when couples are committed to each other and love each other that they ought to have the same sort of rights that everyone has,” she was clearly speaking in the context of same-sex marriage. Wonder what she thinks about unmarried different-sex couples, or non-romantic caring relationships like siblings or friends?
A reminder not to over-romanticize romantic relationships (and not to over-focus on marriage) came in the form of horrible news about domestic and intimate-partner violence, particularly the murder of Yeardley Love at the University of Virginia. Coverage of this case revealed that “1 in 5 Virginia homicides resulted from intimate partner violence in 2005,” including “victims who had intervened or were caught in the crossfire of intimate partner violence,” and that “51% of all female homicide victims were killed by an intimate partner.” If that weren’t sad enough, protecting people from violence has a marital status discrimination angle. As Newsweek noted
despite [the boyfriend's] violent past, Love couldn’t have filed a restraining order against him even if she wanted to. Virginia is one of eight states that excludes people in dating relationships – in other words, unmarried couples or partners – from getting protective restraining orders.
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May 14th, 2010 by Nicky
Letter to editor: a resource for counseling unmarried couples
I’m writing because I read Amy Wood’s article on therapy with cohabiting couples this morning and wanted to let the AtMP community know that I have recently published a paper on this topic. I’ll paste in the citation below. I would be glad to email a copy of it to anyone who is interested.
Rhoades, G. K., Stanley, S. M., & Markman, H. J. (2009). Working with cohabitation in relationship education and therapy. Journal of Couple and Relationship Therapy, 8, 95-112.
Sincerely,
Galena K. Rhoades, Ph.D.
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May 7th, 2010 by Nicky
Becoming an Adult Without Getting Married
When does a person become an adult? What is adulthood, and why does it matter? How have the answers to these questions changed over time, and what do the changes mean for American society? How should civic institutions respond?
These fascinating questions are the subject of Transition to Adulthood, the latest in a research series called The Future of Children published by Princeton’s Woodrow Wilson School (my alma mater) and the Brookings Institution. This anthology of 10 essays does not answer all those questions. In fact, it doesn’t seem to recognize that some exist; but, it does provide valuable insight into demographic trends and policy responses.
Why review it here? Because, according to one of the authors,
Becoming an adult has traditionally been understood as comprising five core transitions – leaving home, completing school, entering the workforce, getting married, and having children.
However,
Today… only about half of Americans consider it necessary to marry or have children to be regarded as an adult.
The question begs so hard it practically jumps off the page: should marriage and parenthood still be understood as markers of adulthood by researchers and policy makers? Amazingly, none of the 19 authors in this anthology seem interested in changing their traditional understanding. For example, one lists women’s tendency “to delay marriage and parenthood” as a factor that has “helped to delay and complicate the passage to adulthood.” Even the use of “transition” (singular) in the book’s title suggests the authors’ devotion to the idea of one right way to become an adult, despite the rich diversity of reality which their data describe so well.
Equally amazing, none of the authors unpack the implied moral or normative value of adulthood; no one explains why it matters. Of course, I’d rather live in a country where my fellow adults act like adults, not like children. But my common sense definition of “acting like an adult” has little to do with the “five core transitions.” A book that recommends governmental and civic action towards a goal ought to justify why that goal is good for individuals and society. Instead, the closest it comes to explaining why adulthood matters is to describe the negative
consequences of the extended transition. … [F]irst … the growing burden placed on the middle- and lower-income families who were providing their children with schooling, housing, health insurance and income well beyond the age range of 18 – 21, the traditional age of majority. … [S]econd… the unexpected strain being imposed on key social institutions.
One thing the anthology does very well is highlight the different life patterns experienced by people of different gender, race/ethnicity, economic class and immigration history. For example, it cites one study of children of immigrants who (rather than becoming a long-term burden) provide regular or even total financial support to their parents, and another study finding that children of immigrants “differed in several ways from conventional American norms of departing the parental household and setting up a separate home.”
Another question begged: whose norms are “conventional?” A different essay mentions that “youth and parents from less-advantaged families continue to favor an earlier departure from the home than do those of more advantaged means.” Furthermore, “women are typically younger than men when they leave home because they complete college earlier, form cohabiting unions earlier, and marry about two years earlier, on average, than men.” However, “young mothers who do not enter a union before bearing a child typically remain in the parental home for several years and receive financial support and child care from their parents.”
What Transition to Adulthood does best is provide heaps of fascinating data. Here are just a few highlights about marriage and its alternatives: “About half of high school seniors say that they plan to cohabit as couples before they marry. … By age 34, 7 in 10 have tied the knot. … [T]he percentages of people who have never married, and who are intentionally childless, are higher now than at any other time in American history….”
Given this nation’s obsession with marriage and parenting – and our politicians’ willingness to legislate behavior – I was especially struck by the fact that, while there are many studies of people who are relatively rich or poor, “[r]esearchers know far less about the family formation patterns of young adults who grow up in families with modest resources.” Isn’t that the majority of us? I was also glad to see recognition that “young people who can build stronger and wider connections to adults other than parents (for example, teachers and adult mentors) also end up faring better than those who do not.” (emphasis in original)
With essays on education, labor, the military, civic engagement and “vulnerable populations,” as well as the immigration and family formation sections I’ve highlighted, Transition to Adulthood offers plenty of food for thought. I do hope that its target audience of “policy makers, practitioners and the media” will dig into the rich details and give more thought to what adulthood is, how people get there, and why it matters. Otherwise, we’ll end up with more legal carrots and sticks, more media hype, and less real help to build a society where we all can thrive.
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book reviews, economics & poverty, letters to the editors, marriage promotion, race & ethnicity, statistics
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May 7th, 2010 by Nicky
Adoption Ban in Arkansas Recently Struck Down!
Pulaski County Circuit Judge Chris Piazza recently struck down Arkansas’ 2008 adoption ban that prevented same-sex and other unmarried cohabiting couples from serving as adoptive or foster parents.
According to an article published by the Associated Press, “the judge wrote that the law infringed upon a ‘fundamental right.’ Piazza said protecting children is in the state’s interest, but the ban ‘is not narrowly tailored to the least restrictive means necessary to serve the state’s interest in determining what is in the best interest of the child.’”
Smart move, Arkansas! – We have Judge Chris Piazza to thank for that!
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May 5th, 2010 by Jess
