Archive for January, 2009
Getting Government out of the Marriage Promotion Business
The arrival of the new administration in Washington presents opportunities to get government out of a particularly offensive branch of the marriage business: using welfare programs to promote marriage.
In December, AtMP co-authored a letter to HHS Secretary-designate Tom Daschle, urging him to appointment appropriate new leaders for the Administration of Children and Family Services. We continuing to work with an ad hoc coalition of academics and advocates to send detailed policy recommendations. Our bottom line: government funds that are intended to lift people out of poverty should go towards proven education and economic relief programs, not bridal billboards or religious dating classes.
The marriage movement is worried about losing its cash cow.
Since this is also the start of a new semester, here’s a special request to students and teachers. Help us find out what kind of marriage programs our tax dollars are paying for. AtMP’s Let Them Eat Wedding Rings has suggestions for how to contact and question a government funded marriage program in your neighborhood.
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Jan 28th, 2009 by Nicky
Blogs We Like
A great way to start the new year is to read informative, interesting and up-to-date blogs! AtMP has compiled two lists of noteworthy blogs that cover issues and topics we care about. Enjoy!
Blogs that are frequently updated and invaluable:
Beyond (Straight And Gay) Marriage: Nancy Polikoff’s blog is a great addition to her book (same title). It covers all of today’s major legislation and court cases that affect both straight and LGBT unmarried people.
Living Single: Bella DePaulo’s blog on Psychology Today is a great resource for information about being single in today’s society. Her posts also help debunk many of the myths about singlism. Also be sure to read her wonderful book, Singled Out.
Onely: This blog also tackles singlism while pointing out that being single does not equal loneliness.
Rachel’s Musings: Rachel Buddeberg is a member of AtMP’s board of directors. Her blog reflects some of her core values: the abandoning of matrimania and the recognition of ALL families, both married and unmarried.
Single File: This advice column by Susan Deitz helps answer individuals’ questions about being single; a very helpful resource!
Blogs that are new and/or less frequently updated, worth keeping an eye on:
Bella DePaulo: This is DePaulo’s other blog available on the Huffington Post website. This blog is yet another worthwhile read.
Kay Trimberger’s Blog: This is a link to Kay’s website which contains a list of blogs she has contributed to these past two years. Her articles also focus on being single.
Kidfree Forum: This international forum is available on KidFree & Lovin’ It. It addresses various elements of being “childfree.”
Open Fidelity: Open Fidelity is a website and blog about non-monogamous relationships. The creator, Ann Sharman, writes various articles about the subject and how to remain faithful while polyamorous.
Singletude: A Positive Blog for Singles: Its contributors truly are proud of being single and discuss topics like family, friends, careers, hobbies and of course, singlism.
The Unmarried Estate :This new blog by a young lawyer promises discusses issues that affect unmarried Americans in regards to estate planning.
Do you have blogs you’d recommend? Let us know so we can add them to this list !
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Jan 25th, 2009 by Jessica
AtMP in Washington DC
Embodying the spirit of service that is invoked for Martin Luther King’s birthday and Barack Obama’s inauguration, AtMP’s board of directors spent this weekend at a strategic planning retreat in Washington DC.
Although most board members had to return to their far-flung home towns (including Albany, Boulder, Brooklyn, Los Angeles, and San Francisco), I am staying in DC for the inauguration. Today I attended “Driving Change: the role of activists during the Obama administration,” an Inaugural Event produced by the Alliance for Justice. Eli Pariser, Van Jones, JoDee Winterhof and Nan Aron spoke to an audience of several hundred community organizers. A couple of my key take-aways:
- at a time when the economy and war are likely to make the public fearful and reactionary, we must remind people about their shared experiences to encourage them to work together.
- politicians (like courts) rarely go out on a limb for culture change. Rather, they step into safe spaces that have been created by trends of public opinion. In other words, we should expect our leaders to follow, not lead. The job of activists and organizers is to create and give voice to public support for the policies we want politicians to enact.
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Jan 19th, 2009 by Nicky
Eye on the Courts
Despite all the hype about the power of the courts to change the course of American law and culture, and all the hype about ‘activist judges,’ many legal experts see the courts as ‘lagging indicators’ of cultural change. In other words, judges (especially the Supreme Court) generally won’t rule in favor of a cultural shift unless they believe the culture has already shifted that direction.
So, one way to guess how close we are getting to fairness and equality for unmarried people is to keep an eye on the courts. Recently, state courts offered us two small steps forward and one step back:
Yesterday, AtMP sent boxes of chocolates to two Iowa judges who ruled that it is “arbitrary and irrational” to assume that an unmarried sex offender is a greater threat than a married sex offender. They wrote the dissenting opinion, so this is only a small step forward.
Despite the new adoption ban, an Arkansas judge has given temporary custody of a child to the child’s unmarried grandmother, who lives with her same-sex partner of nine years and is the only relative able and willing to adopt her grandchild. This is a small step too.
But a Minnesota court ruled that it’s ok for gyms to charge married and unmarried people different membership fees. While not as life-changing as child custody, these fee differentials really bug lots of people.
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Jan 15th, 2009 by Nicky
New Year, new realism
Perhaps the winter winds are blowing aside some blindfolds, making it easier for opinion leaders to see that bad laws hurt real families.
Senator Bob Barr, in an op-ed in the Los Angeles Times, has noticed that “the heterosexual definition of marriage for purposes of federal laws — including, immigration, Social Security survivor rights and veteran’s benefits — has become a de facto club used to limit, if not thwart, the ability of a state to choose to recognize same-sex unions.” He should also have noted that this club prevents federal agencies from recognizing unmarried different-sex partnerships. I would love to take a small slice of credit for Barr’s conversion, hoping that my pitch to ditch DOMA on Reason TV helped persuade some of the libertarian voters he was trying to court.
The New York Times editorial page has noticed that “Under Arkansas law, people convicted of major crimes, including contributing to the delinquency of a minor, remain eligible to adopt children or become foster parents. Single people who have no partner — or who have a large number of casual sex partners — are also eligible. Anyone who is in a committed relationship, gay or straight, but is not married is automatically barred.”
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Jan 6th, 2009 by Nicky
